Ants and Vodka

17 Sep

Marching On


One of the things we quickly discovered about our new house was that it has ants. And they’re stupid.

Since our refrigerator contains less than 10 items (causing our friend Nick to comment it looks like a college students’), and our little pantry consists of several un-opened bags of Chex Mix, these idiotic insects lurk in the master bedroom and bathroom, apparently hoping to find nourishment there. My husband and I don’t eat in bed, nor in the bathroom, so the behavior of the ants is baffling. We have left open containers of food in the den overnight, and the ants didn’t catch on. A few days ago I left a cup of water on my nightstand, only to awake the next morning and find it  swimming with ants. See–they’re moronic.

Now, I’ve never really had strong feelings about ants until now. They’re gross. I dislike seeing one or two of the little guys crawl on the counter while I blowdry my hair. While writing this post I read about them on Wikipedia (the most reliant and truthful online encyclopedia) and found it is nearly impossible to eliminate an ant colony. Instead, “Pest management is therefore a matter of controlling local populations, instead of eliminating an entire colony, and most attempts at control are temporary solutions.”  Additionally adding to the hopelessness, ants account for about 15–25% of the terrestrial animal biomass, according to Wikipedia. (source) That is terrifying. I no longer feel badly about applying Raid liberally to them. DIE.

In other housewife news, last night I ventured into the realm of cooking and emerged unscathed. My husband and I were graciously gifted a copy of Giada De Laurentiis’ “Everyday Italian” cookbook as a wedding present and I am determined to master a few of her recipes. Like a good Italian, I’m obsessed with pasta and my favorite sauce is vodka cream, where I decided to begin (pg. 67). By no means a complicated recipe, I was delighted to have the majority of it completed when my husband came home from work (bonus: I was wearing an apron). When I told my sister-in-law of our culinary plans, she informed me that a low-cut shirt must be worn by the chef for it to be a true Giada experience. As I was wearing a t-shirt, my husband graciously undid several of his buttons on his button-up shirt to accommodate this necessity while he finished grating the Parmesan cheese.

The recipe gets a B, since both my husband and I found the sauce too vodka-y. The linguine was practically drunk. The recipe calls for a cup of vodka, but as my husband said, “Giada’s a drunkard.” I would recommend halving that. Baked polenta (pg. 124) is the next recipe on the agenda, so stay tuned.


One Response to “Ants and Vodka”

  1. fallenangel39 September 17, 2010 at 2:03 PM #

    Ants are harder than a bad hoseguest to get rid of,but if you can find where they are coming in,you could try using eucalyptus oil..maybe put some around the bottom of the doors and windowsills.It worked pretty well for me.You can try asorbic acid too.

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