Scenes from a Marriage

12 Nov

Since this blog is intended to discuss my life as a newlywed as my husband and I navigate through the concrete jungle known as LA (see “About”), I thought it time to take a glimpse into a few “scenes,” if you will, of our new domestic life.

I like quotations. In college, when I struggled to begin a paper, I always used some sort of profound quote to begin. It really helped scare away writer’s block.  Sadly, however, in glancing through my handy “The Harper Book of Quotations” all quotes pertaining to marriage were… well, dismal. Or scandalous. Or dismally scandalous.

When I asked my husband if he felt anything had changed in our relationship since tying the knot, he said no, and I agree. With the small exceptions of moving to Los Angeles and finally living together, things are relatively normal. There hasn’t been some gigantic shift of power, and I don’t feel like we nag each other incessantly like is often portrayed in the movies. We’re very even-keel. So I apologize if you clicked over to this blog hoping for some juicy gossip, because in comparison to, say, Ingmar Bergman’s “Scenes from a Marriage,” Craig and I are pretty uneventful. But we like it that way.

Before getting started, I would like to take a moment to thank my very talented husband for graciously making a guest appearance on my blog. He’s provided the drawings for each little “scene” presented in this post. To check out more of his amazing work, visit his website.

Scene I

We Discover Craig is Allergic to His Wedding Ring

Ouch.

A day or so after the wedding, it became apparent that Craig was allergic to his wedding band. In fact, he’s probably allergic to all metals, since wearing a belt can often cause a rash to break out in the area of a belt buckle whenever he wears a belt. While we were aware of this peculiarity, it was not given any consideration when purchasing his wedding ring, which is made of tungsten. Apparently the store we purchased his band from has since gone out of business, leaving us stuck. My dear, sweet husband had the brilliant idea of using clear nail polish to paint a thin layer on the inside part of the ring each time before wearing it, so when we are in public, it is known we are married and thankfully, Craig’s poor fingers don’t suffer.

Scene II

A California King-Sized Bed Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us

Dreaming sweetly.

After 25 years of sleeping alone, it was obviously an adjustment to start sharing a bed with someone, even if the bed is a California king. Now, my natural tendency while sleeping is to, while on my stomach, have my left knee up. My lovely husband had given me notice a few times that my knee was constantly hitting him in the back (which I agree is rather unpleasant). I attempted to adjust my sleeping patterns but my subconscious refused. I told my husband my knee was just trying to cuddle with his back.

It was difficult for me to sleep the first few weeks we were in LA, what with the noisy traffic. One night, my knee was apparently excessively cuddly with my husband’s back, and made it impossible for him to sleep. Rather than disturb his poor, sleep-deprived wife, my champion of a husband simply got a blanket and slept on the floor. I love him!

Scene III

Allow Me to Profess My Love for… Steve

Great. Thanks.

One day my husband and I were driving. In LA, it seems like all you do is drive–while it may be true that I am now closer to a Target than I have ever been before, I still have to jump on four freeways to get there, and of course there’s traffic. I’d rather drive on Silverado to Napa, it takes about the same amount of time!

Anyway, I digress. We were driving, and I was feeling particularly romantic and I told my husband that I loved him very much and that I was so happy to finally be married to him. His response? “I love Steve Martin’s tweets!” (At the time, Steve Martin had just joined Twitter, so it’s somewhat understandable that he would be a topic of conversation; however, not exactly at this particular moment…) I immediately burst out laughing, and now it’s become a big joke. When one of us professes love to the other, often it is clarified that it isn’t as much as we love Steve Martin’s brilliant tweets.*

*My husband would like me to note that he is very oblivious, and wasn’t aware of my words of love while he was reading Steve Martin’s tweets. I can vouch for him; when he’s checking Twitter, a nuclear bomb could go off and I doubt he would notice. Poor timing on my part.

Other Miscellaneous Stories/Topics of Conversation

These are just a few of the notable occurrences in our new married life in LA. Another hilarious event in our domestic life was the second day living in our new house. We had cooked a fabulous pasta dinner and were prepared to chow down after a strenuous afternoon of packing only to discover we didn’t have any silverware, so Craig was forced to run to the grocery store up the street to steal a few plastic forks from their deli.

I should also mention that after many years of hassling, my husband finally convinced me to watch “The Shining” and I did in fact survive, probably because I covered my eyes and plugged my ears at any remotely scary part. As a consequence, I have forced my husband to endure many chick flicks, which I feel is justified punishment.

Other aspects of our LA life that are different in comparison to living in Napa are that we now shop at Albertsons rather than Safeway (excuse me, VONS… stupid) and I can now tolerate eating Del Taco. I know, I know… it’s weird. I am becoming Southern California-ized.

But overall, married life is bliss. 🙂

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4 Responses to “Scenes from a Marriage”

  1. The Suze November 12, 2010 at 9:56 PM #

    Awww, how sweet! These “scenes” (both written and drawn) beautifully illustrate the joys of marriage. Thanks for the update.

  2. Cheri Blue November 12, 2010 at 9:58 PM #

    Larissa, I just have to say that you are so clever and witty, and I love your writing! If you don’t mind, I will definately be a regular to your blog. By the way, I do the same thing with my knee, on my stomach. What can you do?

  3. Kyle Lemmon November 12, 2010 at 11:29 PM #

    Very frosty. Diggin’ the art, Craig. Scenes from a Marriage is an excellent film/TV miniseries. I have a similar story to your “Scene III” involving video games.

  4. Amber Scherencel November 16, 2010 at 9:26 AM #

    Larissa, I LOVE reading your blog! The adjustments from Napa life are too funny. You’re a great writer and Craig’s illustrations make it all the more fun to read.

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