The Finding Nemo Club

30 Nov

Nemo!

Until I watched “The Shining” just a few weeks ago, I could count the number of scary movies I have viewed on one hand, thankfully. In the 8th grade, my brother and I watched “Halloween H20” at a friend’s house. I don’t think we’ve ever recovered since. For weeks I think my brother was afraid I would try to kill him, though in retrospect perhaps I should have been the one who was more freaked out (the story, if you aren’t aware, centers of Michael Meyers, an insane man who is obsessed with killing his sister, as well as other random people, of course).

In high school, I unfortunately viewed “I Know What You Did Last Summer” as well as its ridiculously titled sequel, “I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.” Besides the fact that indoor tanning salons should scare me enough, what with that whole skin cancer thing, watching the sequel forever scarred my psyche and I don’t think I could ever go fake ‘n bake again. (There’s a horrific scene where one of the female characters gets locked in a tanning booth and the killer turns the heat all the way up, essentially cooking the girl. If I remember correctly, she escapes.)

In college, I was tricked into watching “Saw” by a friend who assured me the film was more of a psychological thriller than a blood bath—not so much. It was so gross I can’t believe they made so many sequels to it, but I’m hardly surprised. I also went to see “I am Legend” in theaters, which I thought I could handle since I had become a huge fan of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” However, to my disappointment, these vampires did not engage in witty banter with Will Smith, and while they were very poorly CGI’d, they gave me nightmares for weeks. It disturbed me to no end to think of my grandmother, your dad, and someone else’s uncle become a zombie-vampire and try to eat me. Not cool.

Somewhere during this time my brother and his friend Pete created “The Finding Nemo Club.” The Club was formed in protest to the tendency of their friends to want to watch scary movies, and its sole mission was to immediately leave and view “Finding Nemo” if watching a scary movie was suggested by someone. I voted myself into the Club, but should note my brother will probably vote me out when he learns I willingly watched “The Shining.” To this day he will not allow his wife to join since she went to see “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” in theaters.

I should point out that I only watched “The Shining” since my husband would not be able to escape me. I made him promise he would stay up all night with me if I wasn’t able to sleep, and he promised (a promise he broke, I should add). The movie did scare “the living daylights out of me,” as my dad would say, but not in the way I think Stephen King intended. One of the movie’s characters is a young boy who has a split personality, and he is evil. (Warning: plot spoiler ahead!) You discover in the end that he is good, but I still think Jack Nicholson should have chopped him to bits. In fact, I thought Jack N. was great, hilarious even. It was the demon child I was afraid of and he should have died. Nothing else in the movie was scary, but that could be because I covered my eyes and plugged my ears at any moment that was remotely fear-inducing. Later that night, around 4 a.m. when I was trying to read, I vowed to never again watch a scary movie, and I renewed my membership to “The Finding Nemo Club.”

Since it was the holidays, and a cheery time of year, I thought it appropriate to discuss violent, bloody, horrific movies. Happy holidays!

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One Response to “The Finding Nemo Club”

  1. Unladylike Behavior December 1, 2010 at 4:21 PM #

    Sign me up! I had no idea there were others like me out there… I always get boo’d at my ‘no scary movies’ stance. I watched ‘It’ at a much-too-young age and never quite got over it….

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